Freedom

This morning on the way to the gym I was feeling overwhelmed with what I perceive to be other people's negative opinions of me. A song came on the radio, and the music just caught me, not the lyrics, but the music. It's like Jesus was trying to get my attention and He was going to use what ever song on at that moment (even if it was a song about a father and daughter!) Anyways, He got my attention and I cried out to Him. I told Him I couldn't deal with all the negative thoughts plaguing my mind. He whispered to me, "You are enough for me." I believed Him for the first time in a long time. He was saying I haven't messed up to bad, or stumbled to to far for Him to love me and use me for His glory. I praised Him and after that I felt and still feel an overwhelming peace. He is opening up my eyes to His truth and revealing the lies I've been believing. He's reminding me in a very real way that I must trust only in Him. I must fear only Him, not others and their opinions, that is what Satan wants me to do and unfortunately I have wasted a lot of time doing it. No more, I can't do it on my own, but I am going to trust Him. It's about Him and what He thinks and His word tells me everything I need to know about that! I just want to encourage anyone who reads this to turn to Him and His word for your value, not other people's opinions. For one thing we never really know what people think of us because it's always coated in their personal issues and selfishness because they are only human like you, for another thing their opinion just really doesn't matter in the big scheme of things, but His does! You may know all of this, but just make sure your living it out, I wasn't but I'm going to trust in Him to get me right!

The Lord is with me; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me. The Lord is with me; He is my helper. I will look in triumph on my enemies. Psalm 118: 6,7

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom and knowledge of the Holy one is understanding.
Proverbs 9:10

Stress!

Man, today has been one of those days with my kids. I know I'm largely to blame, but that doesn't make it any easier. I have 2 girls that won't take naps and one who is a walking injury, that's the only way I know how to put it. I tried to force them to lay down for a while and Emery got out of bed and some how fell down and gave herself a black eye. I feel like she always has some kind of "boo boo" and it's usually on her face. I try not to get discouraged but man, it's hard being a parent. I know it is the most important thing I'll ever do but some days I just feel defeated! This is therapy for me, so just indulge me. I know I am so blessed to have 2 beautiful healthy little girls and I would not trade them for the world but man they can test me! They can push me to a stress level I would rather not go. Today I am clinging to these verses:

Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy.

Psalm 126:5

I wait for the Lord, my soul waits and in his word I put my hope.

Psalm 130:5

I have to keep telling myself, it will get better, we will have better days and I know it's true. The last thing I want to do is feel sorry for myself. He never said it would be easy, look what Jesus went through for me. I have the best life a person could ask for, but I still have these days where I can't get past my own problems. I don't know how people do this life with out faith in the Lord. I'm glad I never have to find out. If you read this, pray for me. Thanks.

God's Word is Timeless!

I am reading through the old testiment backwards. I've tried several times from the beginning and lost it around Numbers. That is sad I know, but maybe this backwards thing will work. So far I really like it because I haven't done a whole lot of bible study on these books, are they called the Minor Prophets? Anyways, this morning during my quiet time I felt the Lord nudging my spirit to follow his leading in encouraging younger women to study the bible early on. It is so important and God speaks answers to our toughest questions when we keep seeking. God knows our struggles and He makes a way for us to get throughthem when we are obedient. He gives us His word to encourage us and keep us going. When we don't seek His word regularly we get tangled in our own mess of sin and pride. His word gives power for daily living. Thankyou Lord for the power and strength you give through your word. Let me not forget how important it is to fill up on your word each morning.

These verses gave me encouragement today:

On that day you will no longer need be ashamed for you will no longer be rebels against me.
I will remove all the proud and arrogant people from among you.
There will be no more haughtiness on my holy mountain.
Those who are left will be the lowly and humble, for it is they who trust in the name of the Lord.

God's word is so timeless! (I am the Lord , and I do not change....Malachi 3:6) I'm so glad that on that day I will no longer be a rebel! These verses remind me to not focus on my place in this world so much, but to focus on Him and how I can build others up. Pride so easily slips in and tries to take over but God values my humility, my dependence on Him. Lord, thankyou for your work in my life. Without you, I am so human, so weak. With you I am strong. (A final word: Be strong i nt he Lord and in his mighty power. Ephesians 6:10

His grace is all I need.

This summer I have been doing a bible study by Beth Moore called Living Beyond Yourself and I finished it today. I has been one of the best I've ever done. I really felt God speak this morning. He reminded me that I can turn everything over to Him and He will give me a clean slate every day. He gives me the ability to seek His will in the morning and all day long. Beth Moore suggested keeping a journal every night of all the ways God works in my life through out the day. I am going to try this, because my biggest struggle is staying focused on Him in my day to day life. I try to do life on my own and I just can't do it. I can't even begin to describe all the ways I mess up everyday, I sometimes start to think, maybe I'm just not cut out for life here. I start thinking about my endless list of short comings; I'm unorganized, I eat too much junk, I'm self conscious, I get stressed out too easily, I put my foot in my mouth all the time, I take things personally that I shouldn't, I forget things, I'm lazy, I'm spend to much money..........the list goes on and on. I get focused on my weakness and my junk, but that is not the Lord. The Lord reminds me that He equips me with everything I need for this life. He wants to use me, He wants to build me up, He loves me and that's enough. On my own, I will never amount to much but when I put all my being into seeking Him and His will, expecting Him to work, who knows what He will do with me. Witnessing God work through someone like me is truly witnessing a miracle! That is why I have to carry on and let him use my weakness to bring glory to himself. It's not always easy, I am constantly tempted to put up defenses and try to go it alone, but he reminds me that that road leads no where quick. God wants to be open about my weakness so that others know that anything good in my life came directly from Him. Only He gives me the ability to quit focusing on Me and make a difference in this world. I want the strength to be bold for Him here and do the good works he has prepared for me to do!

The faithful love of the Lord never ends!
His mercies never cease
Great is his faithfulness;
his mercies begin afresh each morning.

Lamentations 3:22-23

Each time he said, "My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness." So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.

2 Corinthians 12:9

Backyard Bible School

This week our church has been going to two locations in Elizabethtown and hosting on site Bible school. It is awesome! I am at the Elizabethtown Motel location and today we had eight kids. We also have kids that come with us from our church so it is really neat to watch all of them having a good time together. These kids are so sweet and it just feels really good to be serving the Lord in this way. The group of SVBC people that I have served with this week are just great and it is so good to just be able to talk about the Lord and brainstorm ways we can reach out to these areas even after this week is over. It feels like a little taste of heaven and I am praying for God to continue to open doors for our church to serve him as he has done this week! I am excited at all the ministry opportunities that God has given our church, what blessings we are receiving from getting the privilege to see him work!!!!

Jeremiah 17:5-8

Man, God is so awsome. Just when I feel like I'm doomed to a life characterized my my own failure and defeat, He reminds me that my life is not dependent on me, that I have Him. He comes a long with his giant strong hand and lifts up my chin and says, "I'm here for ya babe". Nothing and no one can turn me around and set me in the right direction like he can. He can take my struggles and teach me about his love and his character. I can rest assured that He is behind me and he has amazing plans for my life. I don't have to drown in the worry that I am not good enough or that I am too weak, because I am! Doesn't matter, he is all I need. This is a lesson I have to learn over and over again. He is my strength, my hope, my power source, my rock, my Father, the almighty lifter of my chin and my spirit. My hope is in Him and I can rest assured He's got my back!

God really spoke to me through this scripture this morning,

This is what the Lord says:
"Cursed are those who put their trust in mere humans who rely on human strength and turn their hearts away from the Lord.
They are like stunted shrubs in the desert, with no hope for the future.
They will live in the barren wilderness, in an uninhabited salty land.
"But blessed are those who trust in the Lord and have made the Lord their hope and confidence.
They are like trees planted along a river bank, with roots tat reach deep into the water. Such trees are not bothered by the heat or worried by long months of drought. Their leaves stay green, and they never stop producing fruit.

Jeremiah 17:5-8

Love above all

I just want to testify to God's faithfulness and greatness. He molds us and uses difficult situations in order to make us more like him and to help us understand him more. I'm not saying this because I read it, but because I have experienced it first hand. He is awesome and his ways sometimes seem out there to me, but what do I know? "My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts," says the Lord. "And my ways are far beyond anything you could ever imagine." (Isaiah 55:8) Thank Goodness!!! Doesn't that make life exciting! Aren't you glad we aren't confined to what we can imagine and dream up. He has so much more for us than what we want, think we need, or expect. Sometimes we humans can be such pessimists. We think we will be stuck in our problems and struggles forever. When we remain faithful through our struggles, that is when we learn, we grow, we gain his vision to make it in this world, and he does amazing things in our lives. This life is an adventure and God doesn't want us to miss a thing. When things aren't going well in life, we've got to remember that God is Faithful and if he can bless us even after our many failures and sins, why can't we be faithful when things don't go exactly as we would like? Are you living your life to the fullest with God? Are you trusting him when things don't make sense? It's not easy but it's what we are called to do and the reward is so great. Don't give up, keep on keepen on and ask for help when you need it. God keeps his promises!

Today is a lazy day at home with the kiddo's. I can hear one of them singing and talking in her bed (Emery-18months). This will be a brief post! Soon the singing will turn to screaming. I was just reading a blog of a girl I don't know. These blogs are neat but I have to constantly remind myself that my life is not all about my life. I am a very selfish person by nature. I don't want to be that way and when I fight my selfish nature I am blessed. I hope that I can get through this stage in parenting and life and come out ready to use my time in serving the Lord and serving others. I think my kids need me so much right now that all my service energy is used up so when I have free time, it's Me, Me, Me, what can I do for me. I pray that God will work on me in this area. Who ever you are reading this blog, just know that what ever you are going through, even if it's just the mundane life, God is using it to build you up and make you more like him. I have to remind myself of this everyday, about 100 times. Hope you are having a blessed day!!!

My First Blog Post

Hi, Anyone that comes to my blog. This is my first Blog posting experience. I don't know if anyone will be interested in the chronicles of a stay at home mom, but I will try to make it as interesting as possible. Today I went to a Women's Ministry event at Severn's Valley Baptist Church and listened to a few speakers. The speakers were really good. One of them showed us how simple it is to create a blog, so here I am. I don't really have a specific purpose, but maybe I'll just start throwing out some of the thoughts that come into my head. This could be scary. The thought that has been going through my head a lot lately is man, life is hard, I just don't know how we do it day, after day. I'm just being honest, sometimes I don't know if I'm going to make it. I always do, and I know it's only because God will never give me more than I can handle. He is so good to pick me up and give me a little nudge in the right direction. I look around and see people with real struggles and it pains me that I am so weak. I saw a guy I used to go to school with at Denny's tonight and I asked him how he'd been. He gave a very non-convincing "I've been OK", then he said he had just gotten back from a round in Iraq. It was just him and his son, I wondered if he was married, I wondered what his life was really like? After he walked away, I wished I'd have asked more questions, and told him about my church, been a little more concerned. I don't want to blow these chances time after time. I want to get past myself and my silly worries and be ready when chances like this come a long. If you do read this, and you know me, hold me accountable to this. I know I miss opportunity's all the time. It's not easy to get out of my comfort zone, but I don't think God is going to leave me alone until I step out. I hope someone reads this even if it's just my sister because I've e-mail her and told her she has to!

"I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." Galatians 2:20.

Hope you are having a blessed day.